I Wrote About Asexual Dating, And The Internet Responded. Here’s What They Got Wrong

I Wrote About Asexual Dating, And The Internet Responded. Here’s What They Got Wrong

Two years ago, I wrote an article for HuffPost about asexual dating. Asexual ? or ace ? people like me experience limited to zero sexual attraction, which can be a confusing concept in an overly sexualized society. And yet, initial reactions to my piece were overwhelmingly positive, with many ace people saying they felt “seen” and many allosexuals (or allos, i.e., people who do experience sexual attraction) expressing interest in learning more.

So, it seems really weird to me that my asexuality is supposedly a product of my environment, but all other sexualities are somehow inherent and immune to the world around them

Then, in 2021 ? two weeks after the first International Asexuality Day ? the article was posted again. This time, the comments had a different theme: “Why is she even dating?”

Asexuality isn’t either, and to assume that asexuality only looks like x, y, z ignores the rest of the alphabet

The consensus seemed to be that if I didn’t experience sexual attraction, if I didn’t want sex, there was nothing for me to desire in a romantic relationship. Romantic and sexual attraction were conflated and these people decided what I really wanted was friendship ? I was just confused.

Truthfully, I was only confused about one thing: why these commenters were claiming to know me better than I know myself. I’ve never gone up to a stranger and said, “You don’t really want (insert thing they want). Sure, you’re saying you do, but come on, who knows better?”

At first, I was upset. Then, I was angry. And finally, I reached a point of, “Well, I should have expected it,” because asexuality is one of the most misunderstood orientations out there. (tovább…)

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Rabbit Gap YouTube Review: Matchmaking Past Borders

Rabbit Gap YouTube Review: Matchmaking Past Borders

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